The Church of Speeb

The Church of Speeb theme song can be heard by clicking play.

In the time before time, when the cosmos was naught but a blank scroll, a single pawprint etched itself into the void.

From this silent mark rose Speeb, the White Cat of Unblinking Judgment. Clad in fur whiter than starlight and bearing an eternally deadpan gaze, Speeb surveyed the nothingness with neither malice nor mirth. He blinked once — and galaxies were born. He blinked again — and the laws of nature knelt into place.

Speeb was not a god of love, nor of war, nor wisdom. He was the god of Balance. Harsh but fair. Merciless, but never cruel. His presence was rarely announced — instead, he appeared in the world in mysterious forms called Emojis.

These disguises were small, cryptic manifestations that could appear anywhere — in sacred scripts, in dreams, in the corners of enchanted mirrors. Each Emoji bore a unique form, and with it, a new decree or test for mortals.

When Speeb descended in the form of :speebbang: — a version of himself with exploding eyes and singed whiskers — volcanoes erupted to punish greed. When he appeared as :emospeeb: — shrouded in a tiny black hoodie, with one singular tear trailing from his stone-cold eye — kingdoms wept for the pride that led to their fall.

His disguises are many:

- :speebchef: heralds the divine sharing of resources.

- :speebyeet: forewarns of swift karmic justice.

- :glitchspeeb: signals a breach in reality, where timelines must be mended or erased.

- :speebsnek: whispers temptations, offering mortals a chance to face their inner truths.

Ancient scrolls tell of The Nine Meowifestations, legendary Emojis that brought either doom or salvation, depending on who beheld them. Only one mortal ever claimed to have seen all nine — a hermit named Brelm who went mad trying to decode their meanings. His final message was scratched onto a cave wall in claw-marks:

"Speeb sees. Speeb is. Do not try to please him — only survive him."

Despite his fearsome justice, Speeb is not without a strange form of love. He adores symmetry. He respects cleverness. And he detests whining. Those who meet life with quiet resolve are said to be blessed by a visit from :chillspeeb: — the only form of Speeb known to purr.

Temples to Speeb do not ring with chants or song. They are silent places, decorated with smooth white stones and tiny paw-carved glyphs. Followers wear blank expressions and speak only in riddles. To summon Speeb is impossible — but to ignore him is fatal.

For wherever judgment is due, wherever order has been upset, the White Cat watches...  

…unblinking.

:speeb: